The truth about the bullshit 5am run club

I don’t usually put a disclaimer on my blogs. Most of the time I let you get a paragraph or two in before I start dropping f bombs like it’s going out of fashion. Anyways, just read the full paragraph as it all makes sense at the end. Spoiler alert; I’m a hypocrite…

Looking back on 2019, I certainly can say that the whole 5am run club bullshit on Instagram was just that. Bullshit. At 5am, people are tired, grumpy and certainly give zero fucks about your run or workout. It’s the harsh hidden reality of it. The Instagram reality of it is full of comments such as ‘OMG, I don’t know how you get up so early!’, ‘You are totally motivated me for my day!’ and of course the classic ‘You are such an inspiration’. Fuck off, no you’re not, you’re actually an idiot. No one cares what time you work out and if they did care, fucking run because they clearly are a stalker. Oh here is the kicker… for the last two months my alarm has been set for 4:30am as that’s the time I get up to workout. Yeah I know. I did warn you at the start I was a hypocrite.

Today I saw James as he was helping our friend Charlie on a reccie run of the Thames Path. Anyways they smashed it. No surprise as they are awesome people. As I drove them to the train station, he mentioned about how amazing it was that I get up so early and mentioned stupid words like ‘inspirational/motivation’ etc. I zoned out and said it’s all bullshit. He questioned it and I said it actually was. So I figured I should explain myself as I did to him. And it may surprise you, he actually agreed with me. He kindly changed what he meant and a compliment as sort of accepted. I love you James. Now bear with me as I explain why getting up at 4:30am to train is not inspirational.

At 4:30am my alarm either goes off or my body clock has forced me out of bed two minutes prior to this. It’s more of a stumble out of bed and off to the toilet I go. If I can be bothered I’ll make a double espresso (I have one of those pod machine things so it’s easy for me). My bags are already packed and gym gear laid out already. So in the dark of the morning, I get dressed, knock back my coffee and am on my my way to the gym. It’s simple really. You are not inspired that I got out of bed. You are not inspired that I made a coffee and I really hope you aren’t inspired that I got dressed. Going to the gym isn’t really inspiring. The cleaners go to my gym everyday to clean it. I bet that doesn’t inspire you. So why does that stupid time of 4:30am draw such inspiration for people? Personally I think it’s because so many celebrities, youtube PT idiots and annoying people on Instagram go on about shit like ‘5am run club’. Bunch of drongos mate.

Tell me if this is inspirational.

I don’t workout between the hours of 7:30am and 6:15pm. Reason for this is due to traveling to and from work, along with working a normal 8am – 5:30pm job. Around 6:30pm would be the earliest that I would be able to get to the gym. My gosh, it is packed by then. You are waiting for the weight machines. The cardio machines are all going to be used, plus the free weights area is full of those Geordie Shore/Love Island wannabee dickheads. So I would be standing around flexing my flab until a dumbbell is free. I can’t train after 8:30pm as I want to be in bed around 9pm. Let’s say I bite the bullet and train when the buff 20 year olds are in the gym at 6:30pm. My anxiety would be through the roof and I would probably walk out as my head wouldn’t be able to handle it. The feeling of being self conscious and out of place would be far too great for me to handle. I’d drive to McDonald’s drive thru and eat my feelings. Inspired yet?

4:30am workouts mean I don’t have to be around particular people who I feel self conscious and anxious being in the presence of. It’s a confidence thing for me. My early sessions mean there are about six people in the gym with me, however it feels like I have the whole place to myself. I get to use whatever machine I want and have free choice of all of the weights. My own personal gym for £18.99 per month! My mental health gets strengthened in an environment that pushes my comfort zone out further, however still makes me feel that I’m going to be ok. Shouldn’t it be inspiring if I faced those demons and worked out at 6:30pm instead of 4:30am? The time someone works out should never be inspiring. It means nothing. I know people who work night shift. They don’t have the chance to work out at 4:30am. They’ll either train before or after work, so does that mean their workout is less inspiring?

The world we live in requires us to do some form of work. Whether it’s for a company or being a stay at home parent, we work. Our lives are dictated by different factors. School drop offs, day care, social outings, coffee catch ups, friendships/relationships, chores, employment, the list goes on. If you can train at 4:30am, then good for you. If you train at 9am, then good for you. Kudos for getting it done whatever time it is for you.

I’d be ignorant not to acknowledge that yes getting up at 4:30am is difficult. I know it is. However do it for a week and you’ll see it gets much easier. I’m at the point where I usually am awake before my alarm goes off. My body clock has changed and knows when it’s go time. I’ve never heard anyone say, ‘Wow Andy, your body clock is so inspiring!’. First person to say that will get an alarm clock thrown at their window. HA! Also I realised that if you take the ‘l’ out of clock, that sentence would have James calling me telling me to change my blog instantly. And yes, I’m aware you just read that sentence again. And yes. I have just laughed at myself. You’re welcome.

If you are genuinely desperate to get out of bed that early because you have no other time to train, here is some simple tips for you:

  • Go to bed early. No later than 10pm. You’re screwed if you go to bed later than this!
  • Force yourself to get up. Quit the excuses and commit to it
  • Have everything ready! Gym bag, work bag, lunch packed, clothes laid out etc. Make it easy on yourself
  • Set an alarm. Obviously
  • Do you really need to get up that early? If so, then focus on why
  • Book a 6am flight. I bet you’ll get up for that without an issue!

Anyways, my name is Andy, that uninspiring idiot who gets up at 4:30am to workout, I hope you have a good workout!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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